Hi, I’m Jenny, welcome to my Substack!

I mostly write about my personal experiences in the here-and-now: Namely: How I’m shifting from barely surviving my 40s, to truly thriving in them. I share some of the challenges I’m facing, as my chronic anxiety, my matrescence (I had my first child at age 40), and my perimenopause all clash together regularly in my 40s, in an often overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, ragey mess!

I’m a busy working Mum, and I run my own clinical psychology business too, as well as prioritising all the self-care I can fit into every day - so I don’t tend to write to a schedule - I write when I can! You can subscribe here, just below, to never miss a post when I do get a random opportunity to write!

Topics I write about:

I believe in the power of hearing the honest stories of others, to inspire people, help them feel less alone, to reduce shame, and to make positive change in this world.

I’m also a psychologist to my core - I live and breathe it. As well as offering specialist psychological assessment and intervention to my clients in my private practice, I personally also use psychology principles related to my mind, body and soul, to shape every single day of my life.

In psychology and life, I practice what I preach - So here on my Substack you’ll get some references to psychology theory & research, but this will always be interwoven with my own personal stories of applying this theory, which I will tell honestly & authentically.

I am passionate about various intersecting topics, which all feel important to me in my life right now, such as: Motherhood; Self-care (which I take to mean ‘meeting our human needs’); Nervous system regulation; Creativity; Social Media; Talking therapy; Menstrual cycle awareness; Perimenopause; Parenting (and how our experience of being parented impacts on us throughout our life); Child emotional health & development; High sensitivity & Neurodivergence and aiming to meet the individual needs of our children and ourselves; and (as my son’s time in a mainstream school setting begins to unfold) I’m also becoming more interested in the potential benefits of un/home/schooling, as I am starting to see how the mainstream school system is not built for meeting the very valid needs of each of its individual children.

Both professionally & personally, I am intimate with the emotions of chronic anxiety, stress, burnout, trauma, grief, guilt, shame, anger, rage and that near constant feeling of ‘never enough’- I will share some of my own stories of struggles in these themes, as well as how I navigate through them, with as much compassion, resilience & growth as I could muster, based on all that I have learned as a psychologist & a human.

Breaking taboos:

I’ll be sharing most about the topics I don’t see talked about enough - For example, the some of harder sides of motherhood & matrescence, including birth trauma, breastfeeding trauma, rage, and advocating for our children’s individual needs, as well as that huge developmental transition we make as menstruating people in our 40s and 50s - perimenopause & menopause.

The near-total silence around all these life experiences has absolutely floored me, as I have navigated them myself, and I have been eternally grateful for my own shame-resilience & self-compassion practices, which have ultimately saved me from thinking: ‘its just me’, or ‘there must be something wrong with me’. So, I will be sharing my own personal stories based on these life experiences, to do my little bit to contribute to the unsilencing & de-shaming of all of these experiences, for every other woman going through them, either now or in the future.

Central to my passion for psychology is the concept of common humanity - the idea that we are all human, and that we all therefore have human qualities & needs, which we need to have honoured, in order to thrive. Yet so many of us live in modern societies & systems that deny our human needs - I believe that the vast majority of human suffering stems from this disconnect.

In recent years, I’ve become more consciously aware that some people also have their humanity denied more than others, by oppressive systems within our world, meaning that these people suffer disproportionally as a result. As a person of relative privilege (i.e. I am white British, university-educated, able-bodied, financially stable, and in a safe & respectful, heterosexual, long-term relationship with the father of my child), I’m on a lifelong learning curve with this, but I am passionate about calling out where I see humanity being denied - whether in me, my family, or in others who may have a different background.

About you:

I write mostly for women whose lives have echoes of my own -

You’ll probably be 30-50, and you may be a mother yourself, or at least be curious about how your adulthood self has been shaped by your own childhood. You’ll likely be intellectual and actively seek to understand more about what makes you, and/or your kids, tick as a human being. You’re also likely to be highly sensitive, and know anxiety intimately throughout your life - potentially you’re always worrying about your performance in the world, never convinced you’re doing well enough, at work or in parenting, or any area of life, really, and you’re probably almost certain that everyone else seems to be doing so much better than you, and they seem to be doing it more confidently too.

You’ll probably also feel floored by perimenopause, and shocked at how little it is spoken about in your family, friendship, or work circles. You’re probably feeling as if you body has suddenly started betraying you in your late 30’s or early 40’s, and you may be feeling a lot of complex feelings about growing older and heading towards menopause, sooner than you thought you would be. You’re probably also overwhelmed by the well-being marketplace for perimenopause, and have clocked already that self-care in this phase of life seems to be VERY expensive. Either that, or you’re here for a heads-up about perimenopause, because while you’re staring to hear more about it, you’re not quite there yourself, yet.

You’ll probably have a degree of privilege in this western world - Your precise constellation of privileges may differ from mine of course, but you’ll relate to having some privilege, agency & resources, which you can consciously draw on to meet your needs, and that you are grateful for.

You’ll probably relate to trying to excel at ‘doing it all’, including trying to always do your best for others - extended family, friends, the planet, and (especially when the global news cycles infiltrate your media feeds) the people who live all over the world too. Despite this, you never feel like your efforts are ever really ‘enough’ - you often feel you need to push yourself to do ‘more’ or ‘better’. You’ll probably understand that self-care is important, but may find it hard to find the time for it. And you’ll often hear that niggling inner critic when you do give yourself a break.

You might be here to feel ‘seen’ in my words, and to gain some regular, gentle inspiration to add more mindfulness, intentionality, self-compassion, slowness, rest, joy, connection and calm into your life.

A bit more about me:

I am a HCPC-registered clinical psychologist, who specialises in maternal & child emotional health and well-being - I am most passionate about supporting highly sensitive, cycle breaking mothers, who (like me) live with chronic anxiety and that near-constant feeling of ‘never enough’.

I’m now based in the UK, but I grew up in Australia, and my “village” is spread out between various places in England, Northern Ireland & Australia.

I qualified in 2011, and worked for more than 13 years in the NHS, both in child mental health services, and within psychology teams embedded within child physical health services. In 2019 I left the NHS & founded my own more holistic, wellness-focused, shame-busting, values-driven private practice, also called: Mind Body Soul Psychology.

Just prior to founding my company, I gained an additional qualification as a Certified Daring Way Facilitator from Brené Brown’s company in the USA - I am the only clinical psychologist the UK to have this extensive training & qualification in working with shame, shame-resilience, vulnerability & wholehearted living, and this training is as integral to my daily personal life, as it is to my work, and therefore is also integral to my writing.

I have an insatiable desire to always keep learning, as our understanding of psychology shifts with time - both as we begin to hear more from previously marginalised voices, and as more research is done in the field.

In 2020, at age 40, my motherhood journey began, and its honestly has been as torturous as it has been joyous. My wonderful son is also a highly sensitive, likely-neurodivergent, soul - He has big feelings, a gifted intellect, a laser-focused attention to detail, and severe food allergies, all of which add daily wonder, joy and challenge to my experience of parenting him.

Join in:

Thank you so much for joining me in this community - It’s my absolutely pleasure & honour to have you here.

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Warmest wishes,

Jenny xx

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